Pain is confusing I know. In my country (USA), pain is not considered normal. It is a thing to eliminate at all cost. I do not agree. Pain is a purifier and a motivator. It changes you, humbles you, quiets you. Severe pain shrinks your world into perhaps just the room you are in or less.
I have lived through excruciating pain both physical and emotional. It doesn't frighten me like it used to. I choose pain over numb. Numb feels much more frightening to me now. Numb is what you feel when you are dying. Pain says you are alive. Pain always has a purpose but in the midst of it you have only two choices, to turn into your self, or turn towards the LORD.
Turning towards the LORD can mean screaming at Him. I have spent many a night shouting out my anger, disillusionment and fear. God listened, sometimes very quietly, but I was never chastised for my outbursts. I had more of a sense God wanted me to let it all out. Many times after my emotions were spent He drew near and offered comfort.
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