Timing

Ecclesiastes 3:1 says, "To everything there is a season, a time for every purpose under heaven." We fret about so many things. Like our worry can help us think of the right thing at the right moment so that we can prevent something from happening or make something happen. I have had trouble lately figuring out what to pray when things are in crisis. Sometimes I SO want God to intervene. But what I am always asking for is a path out of the pain. Sometimes pain is in season if that makes any sense.

Preventable grief

Some childhood grief is preventable. Ephesians 6:4 says, "Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged." I am saddened at how often this passage goes unheeded. I have known many adult survivors of childhood "provoking" of many forms. It leaves deep lacerations on tiny hearts.

I get from this passage that God does not want children to become discouraged. That says a lot to me about His response to Children. He put effort into making fathers safe for their children. He is putting the responsibility for their emotional well being squarely on the parent. It is important to listen, watch, and learn... really get to know children. They so want to be watched, heard, and known.

Noticing a child's tears

I’m going to explain up front that I am no expert on childhood grief, (well, if you understand grief as an outcome of loss then I have my experience and the experience of my children to draw from). I work with adult women who have been hurt. I wrote the book “Wings of Angels” because many women I work with have grief issues from their childhood that are yet unresolved.

Grief is complicated and difficult to navigate even as adults. Many times children are left floundering because their parents are lost in their own shock and grief.

If left to process grief on their own, children can come to believe many things that will negatively impact their lives. I remember being left uncomforted when my own grandfather died. Everyone around me was suffering as well, but my tears were a child’s tears. Somehow they didn’t seem to count.

I believe it is important as the adult to come to the aid of the child first. That is excruciatingly hard to do I know but perhaps in helping our children process we will find our own way out?